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The Sweet Forever

by The California Flowers

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1.
It’s five o’clock on a Sunday You’re with your man and a bottle of wine I am all alone with the TV on again Another year you’ll be married A couple more and you’ll carry his child I still carry a smile every time you cross my mind But it ain’t easy It ain’t easy callin’ all your shots and never making one There’s map of the seacoast With a harbor that bears your name Hung above the guest bed in a room at my mama’s house And I think of us when I sleep there And I dream of you every Halloween night You were always a cat, I was sure it was love at first sign But it ain’t easy It ain’t easy callin’ all your shots and never making one And now she’s moving to Nashville I told her, “It never snows, it just rains.” She said, “It ain’t ‘bout the weather I just can’t stay in one place.” The carousel is still empty And I can still smell the salt in your hair Dream about those lips like honey and your smile like the Cape Cod sun But it ain’t easy It ain’t easy missin’ you
2.
Bug 03:52
I no longer get to decide when the timing is right And you were too forgiving of my uncertainty I never lied and I never asked you to wait I just figured out that I love you a little too late Another birthday card couldn’t fix what’s happened now Hometown strangers colliding in another town A couple scars and some new terms to navigate I realized that you love me a little too late He’s gonna paint the walls of your new apartment while I’m growing out my hair again You can drive him around in your new car, babe, I hope it makes you feel american We don’t have to run the other way this time We’ll follow the same path again like two parallel lines This version of us right now wasn’t destined to be More than adjacent, more than just you and me He’s gonna paint the walls of your new apartment while I’m growing out my hair again You can drive him around in your new car, babe, I hope it makes you feel american I hope you always feel american
3.
4.
I’ve been dreaming ‘bout running away The man in the mirror, I heard him say, “Tennessee is nice this time of year.” You’ve been dreaming ‘bout falling asleep In the arms of a man who knows how to keep his hands to himself And his eyes on you We still drag these chains behind our hearts A bottle of whiskey brings a bucket of tears But a bottle of wine each day for a year Will keep me buzzed enough to crack a smile To be a fly on the wall in a room you dance seems about my only chance To understand how heaven feels I still dream about that carousel Give me the sweet forever on the day she finally leaves We could be sweet together, finding out what forever means
5.
Pasadena 02:52
There's a garden where I bury my secrets It comes alive at night with brilliant creatures They all look like me but they've got reasons to smile I wander through it every night while you're sleeping Tip-toe around your dreams so you don't catch me creeping I sit and watch them dance for a little while On a pasadena night the freeway Sounds like a river if you listen and briefly I could fall asleep without a little help But in that garden where I bury my secrets Is a memory of west coast beaches Bluer than your eyes, and sweeter than your smile And if it's you or California baby you don't wanna know I don't want to see you cry when I decide to go So just close your eyes and let me disappear If living in a perfect world means dying Why is everyone so bent on trying To outrun the clock when Jesus always forgives I think about it but I’d never act It’s too hard to picture you wearing that black dress Crying into your mattress every night And if it’s you or California mama I don’t wanna go ‘Cause I can’t stand to see you cry or leave you all alone So just close your eyes and let me disappear
6.
Sleepwalking 01:57
Sleepwalking, I’ve been sleepwalking If I keep talking I might say something about The way that your eyes look like diamonds when the lights go down Sleepwalking, won’t you say something Or I’ll keep talking, keep on saying nothing I’ve got beautiful thoughts in my head, but they’re all pictures of you Heartbreaker, I’m your stargazer, it’s true Won’t you stay beaming, I’ll be daydreaming of you
7.
Just Us 03:39
I see these faces, none as sad as I remember yours Stuck in the place that’s between your bedroom and my front door The sky is grey now in the hour in which I wake But I feel faceless inside the void left in your wake I found a picture of you in Tennessee A field of cotton and your curiosity Wish it was just us, blue skies and golden ground But I put walls up that you couldn’t get around It’s gonna take a little time to get it together now It’s gonna be a little while ‘til I feel better now My heart was broken long before I left your side It never opened after the day her brother died My mama told me, “Son you’ll never meet a better man” And I feel frozen ‘cause I’ll never be a better man It’s gonna take a little time to get it together now It’s gonna be a little while ‘til I feel better now Sometimes I close my eyes and I still see my on top of his shoulders in my dreams
8.
I never said that I could walk on water but I’ve spent my whole life living on the edge of this coast I’ve met my share of men who think they walk and talk like Jesus And girls who think that they are haunted by Mary’s ghost But I’ve got friends who go places and some who stay ‘round here And I’m afraid that if I don’t get out everyone will disappear So I’ll just book a flight or buy a car and pack my bag I’ll start looking for a new New England Cause this one’s a drag I got a job and I keep trying to put my money away But all this debt and dreams I’ve lost become my chains And I get wrapped up so easily in the things that I can’t touch or see I’m thinking that it’s time I made a change And I’ve never been a gambling man but I think it might be nice To risk everything that I have on one roll of the dice So fix your hair up pretty, put your makeup in a bag And let’s get out of New England tonight ‘Cause it’s such a drag And my best’s out somewhere with a needle in his arm And some demons on his back that won’t let go And my mother’s got three jobs she still can’t seem to pay the rent I can’t remember the last time she felt at home She’s got too many bills to pay, he’s got trouble on his mind She’s got no one there to love her and he’s running out of time The bad news keeps on coming while I’m waving my white flag And I just blame New England ‘Cause it’s such a drag

credits

released May 21, 2018

All songs written and performed by The California Flowers

Recorded at Big Nice Studio and engineered, mixed, and mastered by Bradford Krieger
www.bignicestudio.com

Organ/keys and guitar-Kevin King
Bass-Conor Maier
Drums-Harley Cox
Guitar and Vocals-Eggy Benedict

Additional instruments and vocals by Bradford Krieger

Special thanks to Ryan Agate and Dustin Watson

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The California Flowers Boston, Massachusetts

Pleasantly melancholy rock and roll

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